Booger Eating Bastards, A Non Politically Correct Novella of Horror (4 of 6)

Booger Eating Bastards

The local police were summoned to the house and immediately arrested both Timmy and

Hennessey. The local magistrate quickly called for a jury trial. The jury rather quickly deemed

Hennessey and Timmy guilty of the brutal murder of their child. While being tried, during the

sentencing phase, both Hennessey and Timmy took their bottom clothing pieces off and were

seen to be finger banging each others rectums while the defense attorney pleaded their case.

When Timmy let out a moan and collapsed onto the floor with his pants at his knees and

Hennesseys hand stuck in his ass up to her wrist, there was not much hope for the two, even

though they were not guilty. The trial was quickly over with a death verdict declared for both

of the baby’s inbred parents. No other inbreds came to the trial.

The jury decided the method of execution would be scaphism. Scaphism for those who are

not familiar with the term, is an ancient method of execution that had been introduced to the

Marquanders by the local history teacher. Hennessey and Timmy, while both were buck naked,

were firmly fastened back‐to‐back against a partially rotted tree trunk that had been sawed

away from the ground. They were then surrounded by another layer of partially rotted wood. Their head, hands, and feet protruded from this improvised dual layer container. They were

then forced to ingest milk and honey to the point of developing severe diarrhea. This diarrhea

was mixed with honey which was poured on their exposed body parts. This attracted insects to

the exposed appendages and to the interior layers of rotted wood and skin. They were then sat

in a local shallow stagnant pond, which there were plenty of in the summers in the Marquand

area. The two continued to shit, with their feces floating around them, attracting even more

insects. These insects were both from the air and native to the stagnant water. The insects and

parasites then ate and bred within Timmy and Hennessey’s exposed (and increasingly

gangrenous) flesh. Death, when it finally occurred, was due to a combination of dehydration,

starvation and septic shock. Scaphism was not a pretty way to die and Hennessey and Timmy

were the last to suffer this fate in Marquand, at least officially.

‐‐‐

Three weeks after Harry made his appearance to Suzy and shortly after the trial and

execution of Hennessey and Timmy occurred, more mottled creatures started coming out of

the woods around Marquand and finding themselves families to play and live with. Each family

had a child, which was not really unusual as most every household had at least one child in

those days. Some families had no children and some families turned away the mottleds. The

mottleds without a family returned to their underground lair. Spring quickly turned into

summer and the clean‐up of the great train wreck mostly got completed. By Halloween the

railroad personnel hoped they would be able to send trains along the Marquand route once

again.

Resident’s of Marquand mostly kept their creatures existence secret. This was not really

because they did it intentionally, the actuality was, Marquand was far from everywhere and

with no trains running there was not a lot of interaction with out of towners. The Marquanders

learned their handy little mottled creatures could do rudimentary chores around the house and

seemed happy to do so. The mottleds were also excellent babysitters and rumors were abound

about mottleds fighting off feral dogs and rabid wolverines to protect “their” children. Further,

the creatures were very strong for their size, stronger than the full grown human males even.

As the summer progressed, the creatures became full fledged members of the Marquand

households.

‐‐‐

Leckma C. Hunt lived right next to Marquand’s school, which had been built due to the

wonderful donation of her deceased husband Mr. Wesha Haddac Hunt. Her husband had died

in the great train wreck, leaving her and her three year old child alone. When “her” mottled

creature came out of the woods, Leckma named it Rover. Rover and her child Harry

immediately hit it off. Harry was mostly a self-motivator and found himself fascinated by

watching the children play on the school playground right next door. School was not in session but the playground was not locked down and children were free to play on the equipment as

their parents saw fit. Harry could not wait until he was old enough to go to school. Rover was

fascinated as well with the whole school concept and sometimes tried to go out and play with

the children. Rover was a sickly mottled though and often got into coughing fits. Leckma never

left Rover alone with Harry and she never let Rover become a real household member like

some of the other townsfolk had done with their mottleds.

‐‐‐

Mary lived in downtown Marquand, one block from a gas station and one block from the

only laundromat in town, which overlooked the Castor River. The train tracks were right out

front of Mary’s house. Mary’s husband worked on the railroad but had not been involved with

the great train crash. When the two trains collided, CJ, as he was referred to, had been home in

bed with Mary, trying to make yet another child. Mary and CJ had several children, ranging in

ages from two years old to 17 years old. The oldest, Charlie, was named after his father. When

their mottled arrived, Mary was not at home and Mary’s oldest son was babysitting his siblings.

When the mottled arrived, he named it Dick, just because he liked saying that name.

‐‐‐

Down the road on the other side of town, toward the rock cut in the part of town that saw

flooding when the Castor River got too large, lived the Oppenheimers. Mrs. Oppenheimer was

named Wanda and Mr. Oppenheimer was named Wardell. They had two children Jingleheimer

and Hinglejeimer, who were twins. The twins were both boys aged four years old. No one ever

asked why the Oppenheimers had named their children Jingleheimer Oppenheimer and

Hinglejeimer Oppenheimer. It was assumed they had named them this because the

Oppenheimers were eternally happy and were heard singing “Jingleheimer/Hingleheimer

Oppenheimer Shit!” when one of them had dropped a log in their diaper in the past.

‐‐‐

Liza and Rick lived right next to a creek that was naturally spring fed. Liza and Rick used the

abundance of water to make moonshine for the people of Marquand. Their business was

booming as the local police didn’t seem to care and any revenuers coming to town were

generally spotted long before they got anywhere close. Oftentimes the revenuers would

disappear and the inbreds would get the blame or credit for yet another murder. Liza and Rick

had no children but Liza did have severe allergies. It seemed her nose ran from September

through March. With the running nose came difficulty breathing and red, puffy eyes.

Marquanders used to think she was a zombie or witch or something her sinuses were so

inflamed at times. One day, at the still next to the creek, Liza heard something. She at first

thought it was a neighborhood dog or maybe a child hiding from her but she quickly found out

it was one of them there “mottleds,” which were the new craze in Marquand. Everyone with a

child had a mottled nanny it seemed. Liza’s mottled took an instant liking to Liza, even though

every other mottled paired up with a family with a child. It was as if the mottled knew Liza had a severe sinus problem. The mottled quickly learned to haul water for Liza while Rick was out

making deliveries of product.

One day Liza’s severe allergies were particularly annoying her. Her snot was dripping into

the moonshine bottles. To alleviate this problem, Liza tied a bandana around her nose and let it

soak up the runnings from her nose. As the day progressed, the bandana got wetter and

heavier and the mottled started taking an undue interest in Liza’s face. Around sundown, Rick

returned home and he and Liza sat down to eat supper. Liza, of course, removed the bandana

and dropped it into a pint container which contained what moonshiners call “foreshot.”

Foreshot is the first few ounces of each batch of moonshine and it contains any methanol the

batch may have produced, as well as small amounts of acetone and other undesirable

materials. This foreshot is what causes some people to think moonshine makes you blind, that

is not true, foreshot makes you blind. The foreshot was an excellent pre‐cleaner Liza had

discovered.

Later, after Rick had returned home, Liza and Ricks mottled, who we are not even sure what

its name was, stealthily obtained the container of foreshot and Liza’s snot rag and took it

outside, while Liza and Rick ate. The mottled grabbed the bandana out of the container, rung it

out and sucked the liquid and snot from the rag. The mottled then saw snot and other

materials floating around in the jar, so the mottled stuck his tongue into the jar and sucked the

floating snot out of the container. Unknown to the mottled, who had never experienced pure

grain alcohol before, mottleds are allergic to pure alcohol. The mottled stood up and grasped

its chest, unable to breath. The mottled staggered around and fell into the creek, slowly

washing its way down into the Castor River about ¾ of a mile away. Liza and Rick thought the

mottled had wandered back home, but thought it was odd the bandana was missing from the

foreshot container they later found. The missing foreshot was not missed as it tended to

evaporate fairly quickly anyway.

‐‐‐

The last house we will visit was up on a hill, to the north of Liza and Rick’s house and to the

east of the school. The house belonged to a local mechanic who mostly worked for the

railroad, on a freelance basis. When not on a railroad job, he worked for the townspeople,

fixing whatever mechanical equipment may need fixing. The mechanic and his wife had one

child who was eight years old. Being an only child, the male who was called Little Chubby by

the townsfolk, was a bit spoiled and a bit overweight, which was very unusual for that era.

Little Chubby made a quick friend when his mottled came out of the woods. Little Chubby

named his mottled Ranger. Ranger was a mottled who was full of energy. Little Chubby

quickly began to lose some weight when he and his friend Ranger went bike riding and hiking,

with Ranger leading the way. Little Chubby had never had a real friend before, acquaintances

maybe who liked to play with his fancy toys, but never a friend to play with him 24 hours a day

and seven days a week, for the entire summer.

‐‐‐

Summer gave way to fall, September came and went with the leaves turning orange and red

and falling from the mighty trees in the surrounding Mark Twain National Forest. The

Marquanders continued the great train wreck clean‐up and the goal of the first trains running

through town on Halloween was quickly going from being a goal to becoming a reality. The

trains would run again for Halloween! Marquand, being a town discovered by French people

was not that big of a traditional Halloween celebrating town, however Marquand did love to

throw a party. The trains being able to run through town again, bringing goods and people

back to the town were certainly going to be something the townspeople could celebrate. The

school was going to open the school gym to the townspeople, everyone was expected to bring

their children and mottleds for the Fall Festival and at an appropriate time, the mottled’s would

take the children home and the adults would go downtown and see off the first train since the

wreck. They would then return to the school gymnasium and party the night away.